Leg 1 — Check-in
Fair launch on pump.fun. One dog, one bag, zero presale. The carousel starts turning.
He isn't holding the bag. He lives in it.
ATTENTION: AN UNATTENDED BAG IS CIRCLING SOLANA. IT IS NOT UNATTENDED.
Every suitcase at Baggage Claim 404 has been collected — except one cream canvas bag. It keeps circling the carousel. For hours.
Security approaches the bag and opens it.
First: a red hat. Then: a blue coat. Then: the most serious Pomeranian anyone has ever seen.
"Who owns this bag?" they ask. BERT places both paws on the rim. The question is wrong.
BERT isn't holding the bag. The bag is holding BERT.
The carousel has never stopped since. Every lap collects another meme, another passenger, another destination. Nobody knows where it leads. BERT doesn't care. His coat is zipped, his hat is secure, and he is already in the bag.
Bags are circling. One of them is yours. Hit CLAIM when your tag number rolls through the claim zone. Grab the wrong bag three times and security escorts you out.
Slide the scanner across the bag. Nothing to declare — except everything.
Four stubs. One carousel. No return flight.
Download Phantom on mobile or as a browser extension. This is your carry-on.
Buy SOL in Phantom or send it from your exchange. Travel money for the carousel.
Open pump.fun, paste the CA, swap SOL for $BERTBAG. Mind the doors.
You are now in the bag. The bag is now holding you. Enjoy the laps — BERT does.
Nobody knows where the carousel leads. Here's the routing tag anyway.
Fair launch on pump.fun. One dog, one bag, zero presale. The carousel starts turning.
1,000 passengers claim their bags. Memes multiply. The PA system never stops announcing BERT.
Charted on Dexscreener, trending on X. Security gives up asking who owns the bag.
Wherever the meme takes us. The carousel has never stopped. BERT sees no reason it should.
The bag has room. It always has room. Follow the flight, grab a handle, and never explain yourself to security again.